为什么上帝没有在一所大学获得终身职位？
1.他只出版过一本专业著作。
2.那还是用希伯来文写的。
3.还没有写参考书目。
4.也没在定期刊物上发表。
5.有人甚至质疑不是他自己写的。
6.他创造了世界可能是真的，但之后他做什么了？
7.他的合作精神极为有限。
8.科学界在复制他的结果时花了太多的时间。
9.他从来没向道德委员会申请同意以人类为实验对象。
10.当一个实验失败时，他通过淹死实验对象进行掩盖。
11.当实验对象没有像预想的表现的时候，他会从样本中把他们删除。
12.他很少去教室，只是叫学生读他的书。
13.一些人说他让他的儿子代他上课。
14.他开除了最早来听他课的两个学生。
15.尽管只有十项要求，大部分学生还是通不过他的考试。
16.他很少在办公室里，而总是呆在山顶。
God And University
Why God never received tenure at any university...
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
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